I have a new wellness commando

I have been so completely busy for the last several days that not only have I not had time to write on any of my blogs, but I've not even had time to relax. Apparently Kirby put the word out that an intervention was needed. Reinforcements were called in.

This afternoon my husband and I were so tired that we fell asleep on the couch. Unfortunately, he had to get up and go to work...leaving me behind in a vulnerable heap. I kept going through all my mental lists of things I have to do and was quickly feeling overwhelmed.

Commander Kirby immediately began strategic maneuvers. She got into position on the couch next to me. At her current size, that basically means that she took up our entire full size couch and still had to put her head in my lap. Her big, floppy, warm head. It was tranquilizing. And then...reinforcements arrived. Corporal Caesar the cat appeared. He enjoys sleeping in the little man fort he's created for himself in my closet, so when he pokes his handsome orange head out I pay attention. He wasted no time jumping onto the couch and then climbing up onto my chest. He weighs 17 pounds. No way was I getting up with Caesar parked on my chest. Kirby let out a long, peaceful sigh as if to say "Mission Accomplished."

When I woke up an hour later, I was covered in orange cat fur and there was still a giant dog head in my lap. But I felt better...refreshed, even. And I usually hate naps. But Miss Kirby knew better than me today and I can't help but be grateful to my new "wellness commando" and her furry co-conspirator. There seems to be no limit to what this girl can do.

Watercolor Kirby

As I mentioned in my euphoria this morning, my cousin Nancy Colby is a brilliant watercolor artist. Every time I see one of her paintings, I am in awe at how she can take a blank canvas and turn it into...beauty!

Over the years, she has immortalized Kirby's "brother", Caesar the cat...Kirby's belligerent "sister", Sarah the cat...and our beloved kitty, Squeak, who went off to Rainbow Bridge long before she could ever meet the famous Kirby. Rest assured, however...Squeak would not have liked our big hairy drool factory very much.

Not only is Nancy incredibly gifted, she also works as a volunteer with a local animal rescue group near her home in Florida. Animal rescue is something that's very near and dear to many of us. Fur persons can't do much to stick up for themselves when they're being abused or neglected...and anyone who does something to help them is a-okay in my book. Kirby and the kitties would agree.

Nancy does work for EARS. You can visit their site here: www.ears4life.com

I'll show you some of the incredible work she's done on Kirby's "brother and sisters" if you indulge me for a few minutes.

First was Caesar. We call him the Crabby Tabby. He's quite the boy. Handsome, manly, but with pink cuddly toes and a super sweet disposition ONLY for his momma. One day I caught Caesar sleeping in his window seat in our apartment in Orange County, California:



And here is Caesar checking out the painted version, which Nancy gave us as a wedding gift:





There is a charity art auction coming up and she has painted Kirby for it. Kirby's painting will be judged in a competition first...and then the auction will begin. I can't wait to hear about the reaction it gets.

Nancy's husband, Bob, is quite a sweet man and he has a very creative side as well. Nancy lets Bob name all of her paintings when they're done. I am about to present to you the painting entitled "Someone day dinner?"

Here is the picture of Kirby that I feature in a previous blog:



And this, ladies and gentleman, is "Someone say Dinner?" by Nancy Colby:



There just aren't words for how proud I am to have an artist for a cousin. She's fan-freak'in-tastic! I can't wait to get a print of this.

In the meantime, if you'd like to see more of Nancy's amazing work please visit her website here: Watercolors by Colby

You can also make a donation to EARS by clicking HERE  

Kirby doesn't have her own charitable site yet...but if she keeps averaging 55 pounds of food every 3 weeks, we may have to. :-) I'm just joking!!!! I'm not gonna be ask'in anybody for money. We can take care of our big eater just fine. LOL

I can't wait to hear what y'all think of this painting, so make sure you leave a comment!

Also, I have placed a "Cats by Colby" button in the sidebar on the right. It will remain there permanently. If you ever want to immortalize one of your pets, I highly recommend that you contact Nancy. Her prices are quite affordable and her quality of work is...well, you've seen for yourself. It's amazing!!!

Nancy, I thank you...and Miss Kirby thanks you.

Kirby has been immortalized!

My cousin is an artistic genius, that's all I have to say. WOW!

As family goes, I am lucky enough to be related to a great many talented people...and my cousin Nancy is no exception.

I am on my way to work this morning, so I can not pause to do this topic the justice it deserves - but I will tonight. Let me just say that my cousin Nancy is a brilliantly talented watercolor artist in Florida. Before her, I had no idea that watercolor paintings could be so vibrant and beautiful. For me, watercolor was always synonymous with pastel and washed out. That is SO not true.

Anyway, before I put my car in drive and head out to work for the day, I will tell y'all this: Nancy has just finished a painting of Kirby...and it is AWESOME.

I can't wait to show it to y'all tonight. Kirby will be so proud. :-)

Saints make GREAT lap dogs!

Kevin and I had a great day at home together yesterday. We took Kirby to the dog park, we went to Home Depot and got a ton of plants for the yard, we spent time out in the sun together...planting and weeding.

When we came in for the day, we had a very needy St. Bernard who was not at all happy that we went outside without her. Kevin thought it would be okay to turn Kirby into a lap dog...but it backfired on him. :-)

As you watch this video, pay special attention to the segment at the end. Turn your speakers up, listen carefully..right after I tell Kirby to "say Hi" near the end of the video. You will hear a very non-dainty burp...and it didn't come from Kevin.

He and I were both cracking up. LOL

My elbow...is wet

Ever since I got home, I've been working upstairs in our home office on a variety of tasks. Of course, I did spend the obligatory "Mommy, you're home!" time with Kirby and the kitties...that's a given. I'm not allowed to do anything until I've handed out some ear rubs.

I always feel guilty if I haven't gone downstairs after a few hours...because I know there are quite a few fur persons down there who would love constant attention. Tonight, however, I was so focused that I didn't stop working for quite a long time.

I did eventually go downstairs to get a diet soda. When I went downstairs, I found a big 80 pound pile of fur on the couch. It opened an eye and I swear I heard Dr. Frankenstein chanting "It's ALIIIIVE!!!" LOL All I did was smile and the tail started wagging.

I gave many many big hugs and muzzle kisses at that point. I refilled my glass, I checked on the kitties, etc. I had to come back upstairs, though, and get some more things done. Well, that's what I thought was going to happen.

I went back to my computer and, before I knew it, thump thump thump. Here comes Kirby up the stairs. :-) She was walking around up here, as she does sometimes, smelling everything like she's never smelled it before. All of a sudden, SLURP! My elbow is instantly covered in drool.

I wiped it off, patted Kirby's head, at turned back to my computer.

SLURP!!!

Wet elbow again. The lesson here is...there is no denying this little girl when she wants more than a casual pat on the head. I turned my whole chair around and gave her a big hug and she just sort of...let her whole body slide down on my foot and then she gave up the belly. Message sent, message received. :-) I spent a good 15 minutes rubbing the square footage of her huge belly, scratching her head, rubbing her ears, shaking her paw, and giving her more hugs.

Of course, she started a trend...and I ended up being required to rub a few cat bellies and hold a 17 pound crabby 'ol tabby too...but that's okay. For a while there I forgot who I really work for and I had to be humbled. :-) At least now everyone is happy...and my elbow is finally dry.

All hail the Queen

I got home from work tonight and there was Kirby's face in the window...making sure I come in the house instead of running away. No matter what kind of crappy day I may have had, seeing that furry face in the window just makes me smile. I came in and we had our usual conversation. How was your day...did you lick any of the cats....were they nice to you about it...that kind of thing. All 3 of our cats have Kirby under their kitty mind control, by the way. It's a good thing, really. They're all quite a bit smaller than she is - especially Hemi, who has always been a tiny little girl and weighs in at 6 pounds. Kirby loves them all dearly - even Sarah, who is extremely anti-social to any dog and looks at Kirby with complete and utter disdain. Kirby takes it all in stride, happy to be part of the group.

Anyway, just after dinner Kirby was very angsty. Very hyper. She kept wanting to chew on toys that weren't meant for chewing. So I put my shoes on, grabbed my keys and stuff, and took Miss Kirby for a drive. I figured she needed something to chew on, so I took her to a local pet store. Not her favorite pet store, but her FAVORITE store is farther away and I wasn't up to it.

There's always a traffic jam on the street leading to this pet store. It's a good 15 minute wait just to get through the light. Understand, I drive a Hyundai Accent. It's a little 4 door sedan. Kirby now takes up the entire back seat. When she sits up, her muzzle hangs above the head rest on the front seat and her forehead brushes against the ceiling. I'm sure it's quite a sight. I've been teased by the other doggy Moms and Dads at the dog park a lot about it, actually. It does look pretty funny. So we're stopped in traffic and Kirby stands up back there to get a better look at something and suddenly her tail is slapping me across the back of my head.

I turn to look and there is a Cadillac Escalade full of women and teenagers waving at her and smiling at me. I rolled the window down and they asked me a bunch of questions about her. I asked them if they wanted to trade cars with me so that Kirby could have more room. :-) We were all laughing with each other. We've occassionally gotten strange looks from passersby before, but I've never had a car full of people do that before. It was quite an experience. And Kirby ate it all up. She loved it.

I pulled the car into the pet store lot and took Kirby inside. I looked for a toy that she could really chew on, but I didn't find anything that either of us liked. I picked out some pig ears for her and we went to the checkout. As I'm walking up to the front of the store, a group of 4 teenagers comes in looking for us. They had seen Kirby in the store and stopped, parked, and came in to meet her. They actually got down on the floor with her, so she had one at each end and one at each side. She got head rubs and belly rubs and toe rubs galore.

Finally, we get to the registers. I'm talking to a customer and a pet store employee and I hear a big THUD. Kirby has plopped her giant toes up on the "cookie bar" and is helping herself to the dog cookies. I give the command, "Kirby! Leave it!" and she gets right down, bless her soul. She may not always remember her manners but she does remember her training at puppy school.

Of course, everyone laughed...including the pet store employees, who promptly asked if she could have a cookie and then started feeding them to her like gum drops. I told them to at least make her sit so that she had to do something to earn them. She continued to get visitors at the front counters. Anyone who came in to the store had to make a bee line for the furry cow with the big brown eyes. And she's just sitting there, wagging her tale, soaking up every minute of it.

I realized...Kirby is like Brangelina, the Jonas Brothers, and that weird look'in kid from the Twilight movie...all rolled up into one. Anywhere we go with her, it's like she's a celebrity...and we're her staff. We're her entourage. Kirby gets the royal treatment wherever she goes. People stop to look at her, they pull over in some cases. :-) They go out of their way for the chance to touch her. They're in awe of her. It's amazing the attention she gets from people...it's like she's a queen. All hail Queen Kirby, ruler of the fur persons. I feel lucky to live in the shadow of her presence. :-)

Right now, the Queen is resting in her royal living room...on the royal couch cushions, tired from her escapades this evening. If I go to the landing and look down, I can see a big tangly jumble of giant toes just hanging off the edge of the couch. And she's sleeping with her tongue out again. Like she's giving the whole world a raspberry. Such a life.

All hail the Queen!

Procrastination is deadly to kidney beans

I am not sure which level of civic authority I would surrender myself to for such a crime, but my prolonged procrastination has claimed the life of an innocent bag of kidney beans. Oh...the humanity. Given that there's no listing in the phone book for the N.A.P.L. (National Association for the Protection of Legumes), I'll just post my confession here and let internet justice reign supreme.

Let me just go back a bit so my situation is completely understood before judgment is passed. I was home alone one night. Well...home alone with a very large, drooling dog...and a loaded .22....and....a loaded .44...and....well, just don't surprise me in the dark, okay?

One night about two months ago, some weirdo shows up on my front porch and asks me if he can "come in and use the phone". Well, suffice to say that I was not born yesterday and I do know better than to open the door for strangers. My Momma raised me right!

He ended up getting persistent...and quite creepy. I called 9-1-1 on this idiot...and then I proceeded to go get my .44 and went back to the kitchen to finish making chili. God bless Texas!

One of the things that bothered me days later, however, was that I caught him looking at me through the long narrow window next to our front door. There is a sheer white curtain that hangs in that window and I guess I never realized that anyone could just see right through it. Too bad he wasn't peeking in when Kevin was walking around the house in his favorite outfit: socks. Needless to say, I high-tailed my butt on down to Target that weekend and bought a new curtain panel for the window.

Stores never have anything in stock for oddly sized windows like that, so I just bought one that I knew was wide enough and figured I'd make some adjustments to it. I have a sewing machine and an iron...I was a Girl Scout. I can figure this out.

Well, it turns out that I conveniently forgot about the fact that I have a pretty busy life. And also that I procrastinate even the act of procrastination. When it comes to putting off mundane household tasks, I am the shizz, baby.

I hung the panel right away and it looks great with our decor. Awesome! Fabulous!! Inspired!!! I should have a job on HGTV. However...the curtain kept billowing out and away from the glass because it was too long for the window and had no pocket for the bottom rod to go through. This is the part that I'd been planning to fix. It was getting late on a Sunday and I had neither the patience nor the energy to make any adjustments to it. So I started hunting for something to use as a temporary fix to the problem.

I found my salvation in a one pound bag of dry kidney beans that's been sitting in my pantry for about a year and a half. (Ever since I decided that a big jar of assorted dry beans would look very "country cute" on top of our kitchen cabinets...and it does!) HGTV, is that you calling?

I tucked the end of the panel up onto the little window sill at the base and slapped that bag of kidney beans right on top of it. Ta da!!! Problem solved. Kev, spark up the DVR and let's catch up on the 12 episodes of "HOUSE" we've been too unorganized to watch!

For two months, I have conveniently had other things to do than to stop for a half hour and fix that damn curtain. But that bag of kidney beans has been doing a fabulous job on that little window sill. It has protected me and kept me safe from creepy people on my porch, neighbors walking their dogs, and the bunny that comes out of the greenbelt that eats our grass every morning. (I know he's watching me.) That bag of beans has been a damn good friend.

Now we're caught up. Except for the last couple of days it has been raining like crazy here in Texas. The dog park is closed "until further notice". It's not a dog park right now...it's more like a mud farm. Yesterday I mentioned that Petsmart is Kirby's third place in the whole world. Well, the dog park is her second favorite place.

Kirby is quite possibly the most lovable dog I've ever known. She's incredibly sweet. However, Miss Kirby does not take kindly to the idea of being ignored...or left alone for long periods of time. She knows our family routine. So tonight when I stayed late at work to finish a project and Kevin was not home, she got bored.

Things have been super busy at work lately, so I was really looking forward to getting home. I was so happy when I pulled into my driveway. Imagine my surprise, then, when I opened my front door and found a kidney bean murder scene.

That little bag of beans was no match for my 80 pound puppy. Let me just explain that when Kirby gets excited and starts playing with force, she shakes her head back and forth with the fury of a wolf killing its prey. There were kidney beans EVERYWHERE. Everywhere I looked...little kidney bean corpses. And right in the middle...a very ripped up, drool covered plastic bag. Oh, Kirby...

There were beans strewn all across the floor...on the chair...all across the sofa...in the built in bookcase...in the freak'in FIREPLACE!!! Everywhere. Beans everywhere. And there's Kirby in the middle of it all, wagging her tail enthusiastically in that demented helicopter pattern that makes Kevin and me laugh so hard. She looked as surprised as I did.

As I picked up the ten thousand dead beans and put them in their final resting place in my trash can, I used the appropriate scolding "mommy voice" as I explained to her how naughty it was to be throwing beans around the house. I doubt she heard me, however, since she was already stretched out on our couch...snoring. Loudly. All was right in her world. Mommy was home.

And as I finish this latest blog entry, I'm not certain of any real purpose (other than my confession) that I have in telling this story other than my noble effort to caution any of you from making the same mistake as me. This could have happened to anyone, right? Right. So...the next time you think about using a one pound bag of beans to keep a curtain in place so creepy burglar types can't molest you with their eyes, ask yourself this one question: do I have an 80 pound, drooling bean killer nearby?

Save yourself the guilt. Save the beans.

DENIED! The dog park is closed!!

Oh, woe is me. And Kirby.

The dog park is closed due to excessive mud, etc. from all the rain.

At least Kevin and I took Kirby to Petsmart. Petsmart is her THIRD favorite place in the whole world, first being home with her family (optimally, sandwiched between me and Kevin like an 80 pound wedge) and second being the dog park. We took her to Petsmart to get a new nail clipper and it actually took us an hour to get back out. She was quite a big hit with all the people who were shopping.

This is no surprise to us, actually. Kirby went to Puppy School at Petsmart. She is always full of joy, that's just how she is...but when we go to Petsmart it's like she KNOWS she's a superstar. LOL. She walks a little taller, she struts a little struttier...she's work'in it! Believe it or not, this blog is not an advertisement for Petsmart. I write this blog to describe the super fabulous life of the biggest, most lovable bear I've ever known: Kirby. But as it so happens today, Petsmart is part of Kirby's story.

Of course, we saw her puppy school trainer, Renee, while we were there. I knew she was near before I saw her...because I saw Kirby's tail go crazy and I watched her lunge for Renee with 80 pounds of puppy enthusiasm. Kirby always lights up and goes ballistic as soon as she sees Renee. She looooves Renee.

Kirby soaked up tons of love, attention, and treats from many shoppers at Petsmart today...including a little boy who couldn't stop hugging her. When we first met him, he was afraid to put his hand too close to her mouth with a treat...and when he left, he was putting his little hand INSIDE her mouth. LOL. He'd figured out she's nothing but a giant love bear. I feel so bad for his parents. I bet they are STILL hearing about how he wants a big dog.

Kirby also got her picture taken with a little boy, who's parents were so impressed by her size and cuteness that they had to have a picture of their son with her. We were all laughing. She posed like the ginormous princess that she is. :-) Big, sloppy doggy smile on her face.

When we got home, we did some gardening in the front yard and took her out there with us. She got some "belly in the grass" time...then I took her in and brushed her....and started on housework. Right now, she's passed out up against the back of our front door. Belly up, legs falling all over, happy sleepy smile on her face. She's tired from all the attention and will probably sleep until the smells of dinnertime wake her up.

Oh, to be a dog. What a life. :-)

Rain, rain, go away...for Kirby's sake!

I'm sure in the years to come, this phase will lessen considerably - but Kirby is ready to bounce through the walls this weekend...and I can't say I blame her. We've had quite a nice bit of rain lately here in north Texas. That's a wonderful thing, actually. We really needed it. But for someone like Miss Kirby, who pretty much lays around on the couch all day and looks forward to her daily trips to the dog park...well, it's disastrous.

Imagine, if you will, an 80 pound freight train of pent up puppy energy. Can you? :-) Come on over and stay with us for a while. LOL. Kirby is so eager to get out and "blow the stink off", as my mother would say, that it just broke my heart this morning when I grabbed my keys and saw that eager, expectant look on her face. She was certain that I was going to pick up her leash when I put my jacket on. She knew this was it...this was the moment she was going to get to go for a ride in the car. Instead, I closed the door behind me as I stepped out onto the porch and tried to ignore that huge furry face that watched me from the window. Oh, how I wished I could have taken her with me.

This weekend, Kevin and I are pretty much at the mercy of this rather large, energetic cow who has stolen our hearts. Since the dog park has been nothing but a rainy, mud pool of goo for the last several days, we're tripling up on the fetch time, the tug o' war time, and of course...belly rub time. It takes a lot to rub that belly. It's bigger than my first car.

She doesn't know it right now, as she walks around our office with a giant stuffed cow in her mouth, but she's going to the dog park tomorrow. The rain has stopped and even if the park is a little muddy tomorrow...that's why we have a shower. :) How do you wash an 80 pound cow/puppy? Put her in the shower with Daddy while Mommy holds the door closed. LOL.

Even if we have completely misjudged the dog park situation and she ends up being covered head to toes in mud, I can't wait another day to see that happy, dopey smile on her face as she runs free with all her doggy friends. Head held high, eyes bright & shiny, tongue hanging out sideways...it's something to see. If she's not chasing or being chased, she's wrestling, drinking ten gallons of water, or getting belly rubs from one of the other doggy parents.

When the Texas summer comes again, I'm not looking forward to having to limit her trips to the dog park. No doubt, air conditioned doggy day care at Petsmart will happen a lot more frequently. Saint Bernards don't handle the heat well at all. But for now, the air is crisp and sweet...spring is almost here...and Kirby has time to romp in the woods at the dog park again.

There's a growing cow in my house...

I got home today and was greeted at the door by a 75 pound beautiful hairy princess of a dog. Kirby the St. Bernard puppy was happy to see me.

As I puttered around the house, I kept laughing...and scolding...as she kept sticking her nose in everything. And I realized that she is now so tall that we are in a LOT of trouble. LOL

Kirby can walk up to the kitchen counter and take whatever she wants. She can get her head even FARTHER back on the bathroom countertops. If I spend too much time on the computer, she rumbles upstairs and licks my elbow until I give in and pet her. LOL. In fact, she just interupted the typing of this blog for more "mommy snuggles".

She is growing into a cow before my eyes. She is the reason we're getting a step trash can with a lid this payday. LOL. She has figured out how to work her Daddy into giving up a piece of his dinner if she bats her long eyelashes long enough. She is learning to manipulate any given situation. :-)

Even so, I just love this dog. She is so much fun and so easy to love. She just wants to please us all the time. She'll do anything for Kevin and me. And God forbid if she sees Kevin and I hugging each other...she turns into "the incredible stampeding cow". She has to get in the middle of it. She can't stand love being handed out if she's not in the middle of it. LOL

It may be time to hang a sign over the porch that reads "Welcome to the Stauber Family Farm". We already have a cow...why not? :-)

And so it begins...

Once upon a time, there was a peaceful household in the fair land of Texas.

Was being the operative word. :-)

Last summer, my husband Kevin and I had to have our dog Kokopelli put to sleep after it became clear that she was losing her battle with cancer. It was a sad time for us, but we were comforted with the knowledge that we made the right decision for her.

Our three cats helped us to move on eventually. In the Stauber family, there are always lots of furry bellies to rub...thankfully none of them belong to me or Kevin. :-)

One autumn weekend, Kevin and I were out running errands and we decided to pay a visit to the little "mom 'n pop" place where we used to buy the special diet food that Koko had to have. Kev likes to look at the fish and I follow behind and listen to him explain what an amazing fish the Oscar is. It's a standard pet store ritual for us. I knew Kevin was starting to get the itch for another dog, but I was holding him off. We needed new floors, new paint, and a million other things before we needed to welcome another mouth to feed.

Then...I saw her. Oh, dear Lord, help me...I saw her.

She was laying with her back to me and when I walked by, she turn her head and looked over her shoulder at me...upside down. It was as if she said "Are you my momma?" Big, sad, brown eyes. Long black eyelashes. Chubby little belly. Big giant toes. And Kev saw me looking. Damn it!

And that's how it started...6 months ago. I walked out of that store holding our newly adopted, 20 pound Saint Bernard puppy on my hip like a 5 year old. She was 9 weeks old. As I walked to the truck, I felt a vague sense of dread as I remembered the pet store lady telling us that the puppy's daddy weighed 175 pounds. I put her in the truck and got in beside her and thought to myself, "Uh oh..." But it was too late. She put her little head on my shoulder and let out the sweetest little sigh. And I was done. That was it. She was mine. Even more, I was hers. And there wasn't a doggy mommy in the world who was prouder than I was at that moment.

And so began...my life with a Saint.



** Please note: I do NOT recommend buying a dog from any pet store. This is the first time we've ever done it and we feel terrible that it's where we got her. But the simple fact is that we DID get her at a small pet store...and it's simply because I could not imagine my life without her as soon as she looked at me. I could not bear the idea of leaving her in that pet store.

Really, I recommend rescue dogs first...there are so many wonderful dogs in shelters that need good, loving homes. For us, though, we knew we wanted a puppy...because a puppy (especially a gentle one like Kirby) is easier for our cats to get used to. Not threatening in size, obviously a baby. And I was right...the introduction went smoothly and the cats love her. Even Sarah, who is afraid of dogs, is not threatened by Kirby and is able to co-exist peacefully.

We also had talked about getting an extra large breed dog...and we'd recently checked the DFW area shelters for big, BIG dogs but didn't find any. That's still no excuse for buying from a pet store (adoptions at Petsmart & Petco are different...those are rescued doggies...give them good homes!)

In the end, I feel like we gave her the best home...because I honestly want to smack the person who sent a Saint Bernard to Texas. It's HOT here in the summer. What if she'd gone to a family that didn't know how to take care of her? What if she'd gone to a family that just left her out in the yard all day?

Our animals are all part of our family. And while I'm not proud of our decision to buy her from a pet store, I'm not sorry I did it...because she is a wonderful, big hearted sweetheart of a dog...and I can't imagine my life without her.

I hope y'all understand.